Relationships can be very hard. It seems like when we get to a certain age, all we can think about is getting into a relationship. We are so eager to find love. Maybe this is because the central theme in many “little girl” movies is falling in love and finding your prince charming. From a young age we are predisposed to the idea that love is easy and is something that we, as girls, should go after. They make it out to be the best thing for us. This isn’t quite the case in the real world though. Love is really hard and this is because people are so complex and complicated. Think about it, people assume you get into a relationship and you simply hold this other person to certain standards and expectations. When they break them we are in pain and wonder how they could betray us. It’s hard to rely on someone that much though because people are always changing. If I’ve learned anything about relationships, its that they take a lot of work and can easily die at your own hand if you don’t put in the right effort. Here let me try to break down everything, and there's a lot to know trust me…
Let’s start with some warnings. Most (realize in this post that I’m talking about MOST boys throughout. Not all boys are the same, I know, but just beware) boys do not act like the princes in movies. Most boys do not act like how they do in those “instagram relationship goals” accounts everyone likes. When boys get to high school and on up to college, they really are only trying to have sex. A girls dream might be to fall in love and marry her high school sweetheart, but boys are sadly more focused on trying everything (or everyone) out. It's really hard to understand, but romance is just not advertised to guys the same way. They don’t grow up thinking that it's what they need. They mostly grow up knowing the world is theirs and they can have their pick of whatever they like, so they should try everything that they can before getting “trapped” in a relationship. So girls should just get rid of that idea of perfection that the world advertises. When you get into high school guys are going to be coming at you saying just the right things to get what they want and you can’t fall for them. The main guys to keep clear of are the popular funny boys or the athletes. Most of them are dicks that want to have sex with the most girls that they can, so they can brag to their friends. I have heard so many stories… too many stories… of boys like this who have talked to girls, telling them things like “wow you are beautiful”, “you are the only girl I like” etc. Girls fall for this, let the boy have sex and then the next day they never hear from the boy again. Even worse, girls at some point in their life start to think that to get a guy's attention and affection we have to oversexualize ourselves. We come to think we have to be this seductive, sultry girl to get a guy to like us. So when it comes down to a guy hinting around at sex we think that we should play along to win his heart. This is a terrible concept because it is so flawed. We end up giving in to men's desires and don't get anything but a broken heart for it. So girls, be careful! Do not believe this! You can get someone to love you without needing to give in to oversexualization. If a guy is talking about sex right away, that is a red flag! Another thing, the saying that nice guys finish last is so true that it’s sad. In high school girls are attracted to those bad boys. The exact ones I described. They ignore the nice boys because they don’t understand anything about relationships yet. It took me a few of these bad boys to understand that I kept falling for the wrong guys. I was hurting myself at the end of the day because the guys that I liked were so obviously bad for me. If you find yourself flirting with one of these bad boys just think about their reputation. Have they been with many girls? Do they talk to a lot of girls? Are they being nice to you or just hinting around at sex? If you answered yes to any of these they are probably so bad for you! Don’t convince yourself that you are special because they are talking to you and somehow they really do like you. No sweetie, they do not want a fairytale relationship like you do, so just leave while you can. They will only hurt you, trust me. I think the best thing I can say about not getting involved with these boys is this; think about what you want with your future? If you want to be successful and do certain things with your life and this boy just seems like he would bring things down or in a different direction, don’t go for him. Absolutely do not think that you will change your future for him because that just means you are definitely not ready for a relationship. Now let's get to that. When you are ready for a relationship…